


Kindred Spirits

by Tookbaggins



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Rating May Change, a couple years post series, eventually maybe some romance, older Varian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22983664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tookbaggins/pseuds/Tookbaggins
Summary: Varian and Cassandra may not know each as well as they once did, but they understand each other more than any of their other friends ever could
Relationships: Cassandra/Varian (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 65
Kudos: 162





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. I started this a few days ago and haven’t seen Plus Es En Vous yet so some thing won’t match canon. it really won’t make much Difference, I don’t think.
> 
> Please enjoy this first chapter. Feedback is welcome.

The crunch of gears followed him through the dark, groaning and creaking with effort as the machine lumbered after him. There was no cover in this forest. The trees were spindly and thin, many cut through with the sinister tips of black rocks. Varian wove through them clumsily, his panic making him desperate. What was happening? He no longer had automatons, where had this one risen from? Why was it after him? 

He yelled in surprise as he tripped, barely missing the machine’s arm as it swung past him and took down a tree with a thunk. He rolled into his back, his eyes wild. It was bearing down on him, blocking the canopy and filling his vision. “No! No, please! Stop!” 

Varian bolted upright in his chair, chest heaving as he covered his face with trembling hands. The nightmares hadn’t come in years, having subsided after his stint in the castle dungeons. The automatons must have been rusting away somewhere. He didn’t know. He didn’t care. 

Ruddiger chirped at him worriedly, his little paws patting at Varian’s chin. He brushed him away gently, stumbling to his feet. He’d fallen asleep at the table and his body protested, cracking loudly as he stretched. The automatons...the things he’d done..:that was in the past. He wanted them in the past, forgotten mistakes left where they belonged. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest protectively. 

Ruddiger chirped at him again from the table and the sound was answered distantly by the stirring sounds of morning, bugs quieting as the birds began to wake. The sun was just rising and casting the ethereal blue across the fields. Varian frowned as he leaned out a window. It was strange to be up this early but the faint shake he could still feel in his body told him he definitely wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon. 

“Everything’s blue.” He rubbed his arms and looked down at Ruddiger. “I think we should have a drink before we get to work today. Tea or coffee?” The raccoon leapt to his shoulder, rubbing his face into Varian’s cheek. “Yeah, tea is good. Mom always said it was calming.” He patted Ruddiger as he glanced at the fireplace. He’d let the wood run out again. One of the housekeeping tasks that he tended to forget about. He lifted the latch, talking to Ruddiger without bothering to look back at him. “Give me a second. Grab the tin, will you? And the su...gar?” 

He froze mid-step, one hand still on the door. There was someone outside. They were sitting next to the small woodpile in front of the house. A hood hid them from view and Varian’s eyes darted between the figure and the ax leaning against their leg. Slowly, he backed up. There weren’t many other houses around since he was outside of Old Corona. Nobody ever stopped there. Even if they did why would they be messing around with his ax? 

What if they were an ax murderer?

He chided himself almost immediately. What a thing to jump to! Maybe they were just taking a break and moved the ax? Yeah that made sense. More than ax murderer did anyway. Then again, he was outside of town. Things like that weren’t unheard of. He couldn’t be too careful. Silently, he felt beside the door for his satchel. Maybe there was something he could use to drive them away. At the very least he could throw some impressive smoke clouds. 

Ruddiger darted between his legs suddenly. Varian jerked in surprise, stumbling into the door frame. Panic sieved him. Ruddiger was his friend, his only company, he couldn’t let anything happen to him! He sprinted toward the figure, reaching uselessly out for the raccoon. Ruddiger had already reached it and leapt into their lap, chittering excitedly. A voice laughed softly and a feminine hand ruffled his ears. Varian stumbled to a stop, just managing to keep himself from plowing into the figure as she turned to look up at him.

“Cassandra!!”

“Uh, good morning? You okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah. I was ...um, what’re you doing here this time of uh morning.” His words spilled out of him in his surprise, and when the corner of Cassandra’s mouth quirked up in amusement he felt his face flush. It didn’t seem to escape her notice.

“Calm down. I saw you haven’t been keeping up with your firewood again. There’s still a few weeks of winter you know. Are you two planning to freeze?” He nodded toward the wood she’d been working on. Varian planted his hands on his hips, annoyed. 

“Of course not! I was waiting until I actually needed more.”

“Uh huh. Pretty sure that wood is what I chopped the last time I was here.” He followed her gaze to the wood piled next to the house. It had been there for a while, but hadn’t he used more than that? Things got away from him when he got too focused but surely he’d have realized how cold they were. Then again, he’d started catching himself sniffling a lot. Maybe he could use more fires. 

He wasn’t going to admit it, of course. “Did you come all the way out here to judge my firewood consumption?”

“Of course. And I was heading into Corona for a visit and thought I’d say hello.”

“Really.” A little warm rose in his cheeks. Nothing much happened out there and that was how he liked it, but really who turn down a visit from a friend like Cassandra? “I’m glad you did. We’ve just been working on stuff.” Ruddiger slunk his way onto Cassanadra’s shoulder and chirped at Varian. “Including some tea. You want to come in and warm up?”

Ruddiger stuck his nose in her ear and she laughed, pushing his head away gently. “That sounds good. I have some cookies that would be good with it.” 

“Cookies? I never took you as a sweets girl, Cass.” He lead the way back, picking up a few pieces of firewood along the way. 

“Come on, everyone likes cookies.” Once inside, she looked around the room, moving some papers to make room at the table. Varian didn’t speak as he lit the fire and set the kettle on. As long as he’d known Cass, even after outgrowing the crush he’d had as a kid, he still felt self conscious around her. Something about the watchful way her eyes tended to follow him. Or the way she never quite relaxed as if she were ready to spring into action at any time. She was full of edges and it made him nervous in ways that weren’t always unpleasant. 

Her eyes were on his back when he turned to her, as he’d thought they would be. She had her chin propped on her hand, other hand stroking carefully along Ruddiger’s back. Unabashedly, she smiled. “What’ve you been doing that’s kept you so busy? Or is it too technical?”

“It’s not, really.” He gestured around the cottage. It was mostly one room with a smaller area sectioned off as a lab area. He didn’t need much room and it was welcoming in a cluttered, cozy kind of way. “I haven’t started building it yet, just sketching some thoughts out, you know? I’ve been wondering if I could run a series of pipes around the walls. Maybe fill them with water or something and Route part of it through the fireplace. If I’m right then that should heat the water and cause it to spread along the pipes. I think it would heat more than just the area around the fireplace.” He pushed his hair back, eyes dancing along imagined pipes on the walls with excitement. “Of course there would be steam to worry about if the water heats too much. I’ll have to figure out a way to release the pressure regularly but I also want it to be something you don’t have to mess with a lot, you know?” Beaming, he looked to Cass expectantly. “I‘ll probably get to make some valves!”

“That’s a good idea.” She picked up a paper from the table, one of the sketches Varian had mentioned. “If you worked out the details a lot of people would be interested in something like that.”

“No, I don’t think so.” The kettle was whistling but he didn’t seem to hear it. “People still don’t really like a lot of the stuff I build.”

“They should. But I guess their memories are too long.” His brow furrowed, his eyes downcast as he thought about it. “Varian. The tea?”

“Tea?” He made an annoyed face at her. “What’re you- oh! The tea!” He laughed it off but even she could see the tension that took over him. He retrieved the pot l, thanking Ruddiger as the raccoon scurried away to fetch some small cups. They fell into a thoughtful silence as he poured their drinks. 

It wasn’t often that either of them spoke of their time opposing Corona and the crown. The rare occasion that it did come up, often it was only the two of them. There was something awful shared between them. Regret, shame, fear that the peace they were experience was short lived. It had been a few years since Cassandra had given up the moonstone and left Corona. Still, people whispered. They stared. Newer people in town avoided her completely. It was the same for Varian, although her more recent actions had overshadowed his somewhat. There were still some people who were wary of the alchemist and anything he built, even though he often made things for the royal family themselves. Even if his heating system worked perfectly chances were good that few would want anything to do with it. Machinery from Varian was just not something they were ready for. 

It was a shame. Cassandra had no patience for learning and puzzling but Varian excelled at it. As far as she was concerned the young man should have been an asset to Corona. The thought made her scowl. 

“Wow. So serious.” Varian made an exaggeratedly serious face at her, wiggling his eyebrows. “You should stop thinking and give me a cookie.”

“Sorry, I was just- you know.” She sighed, passing him her bag so he could dig them out himself.

“Mm, they smell spicy! Did you make them?” He pulled the wrapped cookies out and tossed the bag back to Cass. “You should give me the recipe.”

“I bought them a couple towns back. If I can find the shop again I’ll ask about it for you.” She took the cookie he held out to her and dipped it in her tea, savoring the way the spices mixed with the earthy flavor. They fell silent again, Varian wearing an intense expression. 

“I know there’s clove. And anise. I don’t know where I’d get ahold of those, though. Maybe I could make it artificially.”

“Hey Varian?”

“I’m sure dad would lend me flour and stuff. I’m going to put in my own garden but the ground is still pretty hard for tilling…”

“Varian.”

“It might take some experimenting to get the amounts right but at least that won’t blow up, right?” He chuckled, faltering when Cassandra didn’t join in. She was looking at him appraisingly. “What?”

“Are you really okay?” She looked uncomfortable with the question. He knew she wasn’t the best at feelings and Having Talks and although he wasn’t sure what prompted the question the concern was appreciated.

“Sure I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” She stared at him, her eyebrows drawing together as if she couldn’t figure him out. They looked at each other for a long moment before Varian began to fidgeting uncomfortably. “Okay. I may not be sleeping that great but in my defense no one would when they doze off at a table every other night.” Her eyes drifted across the room, to the little alcove in the wall were his bed was tucked. It was more like a nest with all the blankets Varian used to stave off the winter air. 

“Because you’ve been working on the...the water pipes?” she asked unsurely. He nodded firmly.

“Yeah. I lose track of time a lot.”

“I see.” She drained her cup, setting it smartly on the table, startling both boy and raccoon. “Put something warmer on. We’ve got work to do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian has a “oh crap” sort of moment and Cassandra is more amused than he thought she’d be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Varian.

They worked most of the day. The little cottage Varian was staying in had been empty for years, in a lightly wooded strip of kingdom owned land. It was within easy walking distance of Old Corona so his father was never really far away, but when he’d asked Rapunzel for suggestions to minimize collateral damage she’d offered the place as his own, to do with as he saw fit. It was an excellent solution: people were close, but not close enough for him to worry. The chance of loneliness creeping up on him was easily wiped away as he could just spend an evening in his old home. 

It was still nice to have Cassandra around. It made the job of clearing old overgrowth away from the house and plotting out the garden easier than it would have been. The ground was frozen so there was no point in working the earth yet but by nightfall he knew exactly what would be where. The firewood was also stacked neatly against the wall of the house. It was beginning to look lived in, even outside, and it felt a little more like home. 

Cassandra was taking stock of her few belongings when Varian voiced the question that had been in the back of his mind all day. “Do you want to stay?” She paused, her arm halfway into her pack as she stared at him. Her sharp eyes felt like they were trying to pick him apart and he backpedaled instantly. “I-I mean I know that you’ve been doing your own thing. You probably wouldn’t want to anyway, I was just thinking that it’s going to be pretty frigid tonight so you might be more comfortable here, you know? There aren’t any inns nearby. But if you don-“

“That sounds like a good idea.” A smile pulled at her lips, but she pressed them together to keep it away and instead moved to set her pack beside the door. “It would be nice to stay with a friend. I haven't done that in a long time.”

“Yes! It would be nice to have a friend stay, too.” He grinned, picking Ruddiger off of the mantle and plopping him on Cassandra’s shoulder. “Right, bud? There’s always room at Casa Varian~”

“At what now?”

“Heh, that’s uh.. never mind.” Varian cleared his throat. He was thrilled, much more than he felt he should be and he scolded himself mentally but that didn’t damper his spirits at all. She was staying. She was  _ staying.  _ For just the one night, he supposed, but it was enough. He hustled happily to the fireplace, removing the iron pot they’d thrown a stew into earlier.  _ She was staying! _ Wait. He stopped, clutching the pot’s handles. The metal stung a little through his gloves but he didn’t notice. He was happy because he wanted to visit with her but should he really be this happy? Almost giddy? Slowly, he looked over his shoulder at her. Ruddiger was still on her shoulder, eating up the attention as she nuzzled him and laughed softly under her breath. 

She really hadn’t changed much. She was still beautiful, with wild curls and soft hazel eyes. Her gaze was sharper, but her smile seemed softer. That little laugh… Varian could feel the heat rise in his cheeks as he turned away again, even against the warmth of the fireplace. He’d grown, too, though he’d never grown into the hulking strength of his father. Instead the soft angles and curves of his mother graced his face, a likeness that he often noticed fondly.  _ Maybe she would notice too. _

Scoffing softly, he shook his head and banished the thought. If she saw his mother in him it would be weird. But if she was noticing him… he shook his head again, squaring his shoulders and making himself bring the pot to the table. 

Maybe he hadn’t grown out of Cassandra like he’d thought. Beautiful, fierce, gentle Cassandra. In his house. In his house and  _ staying the night _ .

“You okay? Your face is really red. You’re not getting sick, are you?” Suddenly Cassandra’s hand was pushing his bangs away, her glove missing as her warm palm cupped his head. He flinched away from her without thinking. The movement surprised her, and for a moment they frowned at each other unsurely across the table. “Varian?”

“I’m sorry, Cass. I was thinking and I just- you know, I think it’s where we were outside all day. It feels a little too warm in here, doesn’t it?”

“A little, bit I’m always outside so I’m more used to the cold than the heat, you know?” She pulled away, a doubtful frown pulling at her face. “Keep an eye on yourself though, okay? I used to be a handmaiden, not a nurse.”

“I know, I know.” He passed her a bowl and sat picking a few carrots out of his own bowl for Ruddiger. He’d never really been a guarded person but it was apparent he was worse at not wearing his feelings on his sleeve when they were catching him off guard. He was blindsided by it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been around Cassandra as he grew older, but there’d been a lot going on for everybody. Then she had left on her own and it had been what? A few years. 

He rubbed his forehead. He could still feel the calluses of her hand pressing against his skin. He’d always liked the things like that about her, her strength and edges were cushioned by delicate touch and the song of her voice. A blush started in his ears again as he asked himself why he hadn’t let her touch linger a little longer.

—-

Night came quickly. The silence of the cottage was pleasant and Varian had a clear view of where Cassandra sat at the table, her maps spread across its surface. She poured over them, marking here and there. He thought she must be amending places she’d visited recently, or picking where to go when she next left Corona. Varian himself was sitting cross legged on the bed, double checking the bolting on a loop of piping. It was a small test run for the heating pipe he was planning. If he could give the kingdom hot running water he could surely warm his own little cottage. Still, it was better to test on the small side, just in case. A five foot length of pipe would do a lot less damage than an entire house full. 

A soft note caught his attention and he glanced up at Cassandra again. She was leaning her chin in her hand and humming, the sound so soft that it broke every few notes. She was writing on one of the maps. His curiosity piqued, Varian sat up a little straighter, trying to see.

“You could just ask, you know.” Her eyes slid toward him and she raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, but then you’d stop humming.” A blush colored her cheeks. She hadn’t realized the sound had reached him. “It’s nice.”

“Thanks. It’s one of those things I had to know how to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“As a handmaiden.” She shrugged. “I was pretty much Raps’ assistant back in the day but I was also her companion. I learned how to do a lot of things that would pass the time for her.”

“Ah. Girly stuff, huh? Singing and needlepoint type stuff.” He made a face and she laughed. It was a beautiful sound that sent a little flutter going in his chest. Varian smiled and sat his wrench aside. “That’s no fun,”

“It isn’t! Lucky for me she was only into the singing. It grew on me, I guess.”

“That’s understandable. Some things just are expressed better that way.” Her smile was warm, and it beckoned him to her. Or it felt like it did, and he climbed off the bed to stand next to her. Her careful handwriting dotted the map, and Varian focused much harder on it than on how starkly aware he was of their proximity. “Some days you just have to sing.”

“That sounds like something she’d say. You’re right, though.” Setting her pen aside, Cassandra traced a fingertip across the map, trailing from Old Corona to where she had been working. A rough drawing of Varian’s cottage was there, right where it should be. He stared at the loops and lines of his name in her handwriting. He had never realized how much he liked his name. 

“I’m on your map?”

“Why wouldn’t you be? Am I not allowed to visit again?” She said it casually but Varian spun to face her anyway, waving his hands at her.

“Of course! Of course you are! Cass, you can come visit me whenever you want, why couldn’t you? I would nev…” his panicked corrections were cut off and she burst out laughing, a hand lifted against her mouth. Varian pursed his lips, embarrassment swelling up in him. “Oh. You were kidding…”

“Of course I was. I’d come anyway, Var. Why wouldn’t I?” She grinned and picked up the pen again, scratching a little pouty face under his name. It wasn’t Rapunzel level good but it was definitely recognizable as Varian and he made an annoyed sound in his throat.

“Cass! Why- oh now you’re just teasing me!”

“Casa Varian, the house of pouts~”

“Seriously?”

“House of magic!” She dipped her pen again and he planted a hand on her head, distracting her so he could pluck it out of her hand and prevent any more unfortunate map alterations.

“Not magic! Alchemy and engineering. You know that.”

“I do, but you get so annoyed about it.”

“People never get it right.” It happened less than it used to but the sting of dismissal was always there. Varian huffed and looked at Cass. He was still holding her head, his fingers buried in her dark curls. She was giving him an amused smirk, her eyes flickering to his arm. For a second he froze up, looking back at her with his eyebrows furrowed. She was making no move to pull away from him. Friends touched each other’s head sometimes, right? Did she not mind this? He struggled a little to process it, his brain having also frozen up and after a long moment he patted her in the head a couple of times and quirked an eyebrow at her. “You’re pushing your luck, lady. If you’re not careful you may only get three blankets tonight.”

“Oh no! However will I keep warm? You’ll just have to help me out, huh?”

Did she just say that? Did she really…? Varian snatched his hand back, his face feeling absolutely on fire. Cassandra’s hazel eyes had widened a little but at his blush she turned her head and smothered a small laugh. Had it just slipped out? He wasn’t sure. How was he even supposed to react to that? 

Pretend it hadn’t happened. Yes, that was a logical reaction. Wasn’t it? He laughed and it sounded high in his ears. “You joke but it really does get damn cold in here at night. You’ll be glad I’ve got a lot of blankets.”

She answered him with a hum, pushing her map aside and picking up a small leather book. “We’ll be fine. You’ve always been the prepared sort. You’re smart, after all.”

Was that a compliment? Varian wasn’t sure. He shifted on his feet and stared at the map, resisting the urge to peek over her shoulder at the book. She’d made a few other notes in the area but most additions were outside of Corona. 

—-

There was only one bed, naturally, and after some argument they decided to flip for it. Really, Varian knew they’d be matched for stubbornness and offered to flip for it so they wouldn’t offer it to each other all night. He let her call heads, peeking straightfaced at the tails side up coin on the back of his hand. “Heads. It’s all yours.”

“Well, I guess that’s fair. But I really am used to not having a bed, Varian.” Cassandra frowned and pulled a few blankets off the bed. “I hate taking it from you.”

“Yeah, well, you won. I really don’t mind.” he took one offered blanket and swept it around his shoulders. “I’ll be close to the fire anyway so it won't be cold or anything.”

“At least take another blanket.”

“Nope. This is plenty.” He smiled at her unhappy face as he took a pillow as well. The floor next to the fireplace was nothing when he was used to a hard chair and table half the time. “Really. We already flipped for it and it’s decided, Cass.”

“Fine. I don’t want to hear you complaining halfway through the night.”

“You won’t.”

“Uh huh.” He settled on the planks of the floor and scooted until he could feel the warmth of the fire against his back. Cass was still looking at him as she toed her boots off and curled into the mound of blankets he called a bed. She was farther from the fire and would need the extra layers by morning. Realizing they were settling down for the night Ruddiger climbed in with Cassandra, curling against her neck the way he normally did with Varian. He could see the glow of the raccoon’s eyes reflecting the low firelight back at him. 

He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he didn’t mind her using the bed. From this safe distance, with the fire behind him so she couldn’t see his face, he could give in and examine the strange course of his feelings over the day. The memory of the puppy love he’d once held for her was downright embarrassing. He’d followed her whenever he could like a lovesick shadow. He’d have thrown himself at her feet to keep her boots dry if she’d even hinted at wanting him to. That must have been so awkward for Cassandra. He’d want to apologize for it but that would mean bringing it up in the first place. 

Cassandra shifted and turned with a sigh. She’d fallen asleep quickly, he noticed. She must have been worn out. Or perhaps it was the comfort of a bed after who knew how long. Varian couldn’t see much of her dark curls in the shadows but he was still acutely aware of her. A woman in his bed. His bed. A woman. Cassandra. It was complicated, he supposed, but there was a part of him that thrilled from it and he turned his face into the pillow. Maybe he was still the puppy he’d been all those years ago. Maybe there was a little spark labeled Cassandra with lovely, looping handwriting somewhere inside him. Sharing a quiet day together with no fights, no celestial stones was all it had needed to flare a little brighter. 

Cassandra. He looked toward her again, or where she was in the darkness. He knew this was temporary. It wasn’t like she would stay. She had no interest in making Corona her home anymore and no one would change that, him least of all. Even so, as he lay there and watched the flicker of the firelight across the floor his mind began to wander. Maybe she would stay the winter. Cold weather made for hard traveling, not like spring with its pleasant breezes and trees flowering along the roads. It would be beautiful then, like her, and much better for setting out. 

He was probably kidding himself but thinking there in the dark it was easy to think of them over the coming weeks. They could start the garden together. They could pass the long, cold nights together. Maybe she would tell him about some of the places she’s found. He could show her the things he’d picked up from hanging out with Eugene and the guard. He was pretty handy with a stick these days. She’d seen how clumsy he can be, maybe she would be impressed…

He was kidding himself. The most he could probably hope for would be a couple of days. 

Cassandra made a noise and shifted again. Varian lifted his head curiously. It would seem she hadn’t gone to sleep as quickly as he’d thought. He lay there in silence for a few more minutes before asking quietly, “you ever get homesick?”

“You’re awake?”

“Yeah.”

She hesitated, thinking it over. “I guess. I mean, I miss my father sometimes. That’s about it, though. Why?”

“I dunno. I was just wondering, I guess.” She didn’t get homesick. So much for that. “I think I would. Once in a while, anyway. There’s something nice about having a place that’s familiar.”

“There’s something nice about exploring new places, Varian. No one knows you.”

“You know, people get over things.”

“Good night, Varian.”

“Cass-“   
  


“I said good night.” There was no venom in her voice. She sounded tired more than anything. Varian wasn’t sure if he’d offended her or not. Perhaps he shouldn’t even have spoken but he’d done so without really thinking about it. The prospect of being unknown would have once been attractive to him as well but he knew you didn’t have to run away from things to be happy. Blankets rustled as she presumably turned away from him, and Varian turned over himself, eyes settling on the wavering embers of the slowly shrinking fire. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this chapter was over 3000 words but I wanted to split up what was happening a little bit so I’ve made separate chapters from it. Expect another update soon!

Varian woke to pain in his hip and a chill that had already worked its way all the way through him. The floor, it seemed, might have been worse than the table. He probably should have grabbed another pillow or two, at least. He curled a little smaller and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. The fire was out as it usually was by morning. He’d have to move to get it going again and the thought of giving the frozen air any chance to pry its icy fingers into his covers made him groan and burrow further into his pillow. Maybe spring would come if he laid there long enough. His bones would thaw and he’d feel like moving again. Like living. 

Winter had never bothered Varian when he was younger but he couldn’t help himself now. When it snowed his mind would bring up the memory of a child dragging himself through a blizzard, hopelessness fighting against fury and hurt and desperation. That had been the longest night of his life and he remembers starkly the cold numbing him from everything but the repeating disbelief of she promised… Dad...she promised! I’m all alone...

That was a long time ago. Varian scrunched his eyes shut and blocked it away. Things were different now and they were better. Those scars were old and didn’t control him anymore. He told himself this often. Slowly relief at the trueness of the thought stole over him. He was cold, but he was okay. 

Cassandra was up and moving already. He could sense her move near him as the sound of a block of wood landing in the fireplace drew one of his eyes open. Silently he watched her striking flint into a crumpled ball of discarded paper. He had fire starter - his own making and surprisingly stable - but she went about lighting the fire in such a practiced way that he felt maybe she wouldn’t want it, anyway. She hummed in satisfaction when the sparks took and pale smoke began to curl from the paper. 

Varian watched the embers light her face, their red glow growing as she slowly fed them. The light bounced off her eyes and the string of beads at her neck, drawing his attention away from the focused gaze. He tensed beneath his blanket, his eyes zeroing in on the necklace. He’d passed right over it at first, attention caught only by the reflection. It couldn’t be.

It was. The flames took and the red flared into gold, dancing across the beads of Cassandrium. The element he had named for her and given her so many years ago. She was wearing it. He’d never once seen it since that day but it had been so important to him as a boy he’d never forgotten it. The name had been a bit of an attention grab but it had also been beautiful, like her, and he’d loved it as much as he’d admired the girl herself. And here she was not a girl but a fully grown woman with his own element coiled around her slender neck. Varian felt like his heart was going to stop from the shock of it. She must have liked it, liked him, even in some small way to have kept it. A hesitance stole over him as quickly as his heart had leapt. Maybe she didn’t actually remember it. Maybe she had found it in the back of some drawer and, not making the connection, wore it so it wouldn’t just be taking up space.

He hated that doubt that reared in him. He’d always been the confident type and the way he kept second guessing things with Cassandra irked him. Why jump to conclusions? He could just ask her and save himself all this flip flopping. He drew his blanket a little closer. Asking would be easy. The easiest thing in the world. He was a scientist, wasn’t he? His whole life was questions. 

But if she didn’t remember… he frowned. They didn’t have anything. If she’d forgotten he could remind her, they’d have a laugh at the coincidence and go about their morning. Easy. She was probably, more than anything, wearing it because she liked it. Wasn’t that what he’d wanted to begin with? For her to like it (and notice him but he wasn’t thinking about that attention grab)? 

He was being ridiculous. Heat was starting to creep into his blanket from the fire so he put an arm out into the cool air and poked Cassandra’s boot. “Hey, Cass.”

“Good morning. Still not a morning person, I see.”

“Not really.” She smiled and it warmed him more than the fire ever could. The feeling bolstered his confidence and he sat up. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You... kept the Cassandrium?” 

Cassandra paused, her fingers moving to brush the beads at her neck. He thought there might have been a blush on her face but the firelight made it hard to tell. She considered his question, and he kept silent, giving her the time she needed. At length she sat, wincing at the cold floor. “Yeah. I did.” Seeming unsure of herself, she looked at him from the corner of her eye. “I guess.. after all that happened it reminded me of how things were before. That I had friends.”

“Aw, I was your friend?” He teased gently as he sat up, scooting a little closer to the fire. 

“Well, moreso later, but yeah. You were my friend. You are my friend.” She looked at him, her stare serious. This wasn’t something she wanted to joke about and Varian found himself sitting up a little straighter under her gaze. “That’s something I’d forgotten, Varian. I won’t let myself do it again.”

He nodded and they fell silent, both sifting through their thoughts as they soaked up the heat. This wasn’t really a subject that Varian thought they’d be discussing but as he mulled over her words he felt compelled to broach the subject, at least in this regard. He swallowed, hoping she wouldn’t brush him off again. “Cassandra, I need to say something.”

“Okay.”

“You might not want to hear it, and you can change the subject if you want or stop talking for a while or whatever you want to do. Just...just let me say it, though, okay?”

“What is it, Varian?” She sounded tired and he wondered if she knew what he wanted to say. Cassandra was not a “feelings person.” 

“For a long time, I forgot that I had friends, too. I forgot that they cared about me.” He glanced at her. Her eyes were trained on the fire. “You know how it was.”

“I remember.”

“I felt alone but the thing is, looking back on everything I was alone because I made it that way. Rapunzel didn’t mean to not help me but she had a whole kingdom to take care of. Eugene had to help the king and queen. You had to help with the guard and your dad - which I definitely understand. It felt like everyone abandoned me and I was hurt and scared and I just…” he waved his hands a little, as if he could pull the words he wanted out of the air. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know that things like that - mistakes you make - well, they stay with you. They stay with you forever.” She was looking at him now, her eyes thoughtful. “Even now, I hate winter. I hate the snow and the cold because it makes me remember that night and when things started to get screwed up. But it’s easier. I know now that the princess and Eugene have my back, even if there’s other things they have to do. I know that you have my back. I know I’m not alone even when it really feels like I am. It was a little hard to remember that at first but the more I remind myself the easier it becomes.” He stopped and turned to her, grabbing her shoulders and leaning close in his sincerity. “Cassandra! What happened to you, what you did, it was different than me, but it also wasn’t. You’re traveling and finding your place and your own adventures but even then you’re still not alone. I-I know you know that, but...ugh! What am I trying to say…”

“You know how I feel, mostly.” Cassandra smiled and pulled his hands away. “We were both hurt. We were both angry. I was more selfish, though.”

“No, that’s not-“

“I was, Varian,” she cut him off, but smiled gently. “I was selfish, I was being manipulated...I could make excuses but I won’t. I should’ve known better. The thing is, I know better now. And now is what matters.”

“Yeah.” He grinned. They understood each other. His eyes went back to the Cassandrium and he tilted his head. “It makes me happy. That you kept it, I mean. Even if it is a little embarrassing.”

“It makes me happy, too.” They fell silent, each with their own thoughts as they sat there and let the heat steal through them. Cassandra was right. Now was what mattered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This still ended up being pretty long. Enjoy.

They spent a pleasant morning together, cooking some eggs and potatoes over the fire. To Varian it felt a little bit like camping. To Cassandra it was routine. She helped him tidy up a little but after the previous day’s work there was very little to do and it wasn’t long before Cassandra was stretched out on the bed thumbing through one of Varian’s books while Varian himself was putting the finishing touches on the test pipe for his heating system. Ruddiger had disappeared outside somewhere. The silence was companionable and comfortable. 

Eventually Varian gave a satisfied hum and stood, drawing Cassandra’s attention away from the geological history of Corona. “Done?”

“Maybe. Ready for a test run, anyway.” He hoisted the pipe up. It was almost as tall as he was.

“Isn’t that just a rectangle pipe? There’s no… you know. Gizmos.”

“Sometimes things don’t need to be complicated. Even if that would be more fun.” Varian smiled at her and shrugged. “Maybe later I’ll revamp it but right now I’d just like to get the basic model working.”

“Should I take cover?” Cassandra smirked, earning herself an eye roll.

“If you feel the need. It’ll be fine, though. No chemical formulas or anything here, just water to spread the heat.” He pushed the pipe across the floor toward the fireplace. It caught a little against the hearth but in a moment he had it settled close to the coals of the fire, its length lying away from the heat source. Varian grabbed a paper from the table and sat near the end of it, his face intent. “I’m not sure how far off you’ll be able to feel the heat. It’s awfully cold in here…”

“You’re telling me. When’re you going to get your hot water put in?” 

“When I get to it. I’d rather be warm in general first.” He waved her away, wanting to focus on his test run. Even so, he was aware of her moving to stand close to him and watch, her curiosity getting the better of her. It had been a few minutes, and the piping was very close to the fire- than it would be for the final arrangement - it should have been showing an effect fairly quickly. Varian pulled off his glove, hovering his palm over the pipe in front of him. A strong heat was already radiating off the metal but it didn’t extend more than a few inches outward. He made a thoughtful noise and nudged it with his boot, shoving the opposite end into the embers. They both flinched when the metal pinged, but nothing more came of the change.

Cassandra said, “you think the steam would be a problem?”

“No, there’s not much in there. When I do a bigger version I could put some vents along it, maybe, to release the pressure.” He stuck out his hand again, grinning at the increased output. “I think it’ll work. Can you feel any of it where you’re standing?” 

“Yeah, a little.” She had leaned back slightly. There was a faint groan of metal. “What’s that noise?”

“What noise?” Varian’s face had become focused again as he scribbled numbers on his paper, his mind sifting through lengths of pipe and the size of the room. He hmphd and put out his hand again.

It was sudden. Neither of them were expecting the pop of a bolt flying, the shattering of a vial somewhere, the tearing of metal and steam as the connection of the pipes failed. For a second it was like a small bomb had gone off - heat and bits of metal and pain. Varian felt it belatedly, as if his brain took a second to process the searing of his nerves. The steam enveloped his hand, from the heel of his palm to the tender inside of his wrist. It swept up the sides before he reflexively jerked away. 

Cassandra swore behind him as he curled instinctively around his arm. It was a bad move. The contact sent his nerves screaming and he slumped back in shock. Varian had been hurt before, but not like this. This wasn’t a singed eyebrow or a knicked finger. This was-

He chanced a look andfelt his head spin a little as he started to faint. The skin was a fierce red, already beginning to swell. Small punctures and slices peppered it, releasing small rivulets of blood over the injured skin of his arm. 

Cassandra burst back in with the water pail. Had she left? How had he not noticed? His hand spasmed as a pulse of pain hit. Oh, that was why. She dropped to her knees next to him and grabbed him by the elbow. “Varian, the water! Now.”

“Cass-“

“I said now.” He didn’t think about it, just moved and plunged his arm into the bucket as far as he could. The water was icy and for a second it hurt as much as the burn, but within a few seconds it faded. The difference was small but he was still grateful for it. 

Shaken, Varian pulled his knees up to his chest. A hand found his shoulder as Cassandra moved in front of him and knelt, another hand lifting his chin. Her wide eyes skittered across his face, searching for injuries. His eyes were burning, tears trying to push their way out. If ever there was a good time to cry, he thought this was it but they didn’t come, only hovered behind his eyes. After a quiet moment Cassandra stood, her brow furrowed and her shoulders held stiffly. 

“Can you carry that bucket? We should go down to the stream and get your hand in some moving water.”

“I didn’t think it would… I thought it was okay,” Varian said, his voice much smaller than he had meant it to be. Cassandra frowned. 

“Well, it wasn’t. 

Varian winced at her words. They were cold and blunt. Cassandra in action mode. It wasn’t comforting but at least he knew she was a quick thinking. It was good that he had her there. But what if he’d gotten her too? He’d feel terrible if he hurt her somehow. His hand throbbed and his heart leapt into his throat, panic belatedly flaring in him. Had he hurt her? “Cassandra! Cassandra oh god are you-did it hit you? Are you okay?” He scrambled to his feet, his uninjired hand finding her face. Whether she was startled or not he didn’t know but she stumbled away from him a little and pushed his hand away.

“Calm down!”

“Did you get burned? Please tell me, I didn’t mean to hurt yo-nngh!!” A throb in his hand, then the pain welled tremendously, stopping his panic in an instant. Groaning, he went down on one knee. Cassandra knelt beside him and gripped the bucket, bringing it back to his hand.

“It’s okay, Varian. I’m okay, but you aren’t. We’re going to the stream, okay?”

“Cass…”

“No more talking. Okay?” When he nodded she picked up the bucket, moving slowly to let him move with her and avoiding bumping the sides of the bucket. How very like Varian, she thought, to be panic stricken at the idea of her being collateral damage when he’s the one who’s in trouble. Keeping her voice soft and soothing, she talked to him as they moved together toward the door. “Well. We know the water won’t work, now. Guess we’ll get to do some problem solving later. Er, in a couple days I mean. You’ll know more about that stuff than me, though. This science stuff was never my strong point but I can restock a winter’s worth of firewood in a day. I’d like to see Fitzherbert beat that. He probably can’t even chop wood. That raccoon of yours ever bring you kindling? He’s probably a handy friend to have, huh?”

Cassandra was not at all one for chatter but she knew Varian was, and he realized as they struggled over the frozen field behind the cottage that she probably hoped it would keep him distracted from his injury. Even as he fought back the nervous sour feeling in his stomach he felt a small smile curl across his face. He didn’t answer her, letting her continue her efforts over the short walk. At the stream she steered him to a shallow, fast flowing spot and sat him down at the water’s edge. “We’ve got to get the heat out before there’s more damage. Keep your arm in the water? Okay? I’m going to get something to use as bandages.”

“Is this sanitary? I mean, it’s a stream. Fish pee in there.” He shook his head dubiously, and Cassandra pointed sternly to the water.

“It’s what we have, Varian. Do it” he complied wordlessly, watching her hurry back to the cottage. The cool water slipped across his skin, doing much more to cool the burn than the bucket had. He sighed in relief, feeling a little of the tension leave him. 

The frozen grass crunched behind him and he glanced back to see her returning with bandages. He thought she must have had them in her pack because she didn’t recognize the fabric. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. How’s it feeling?”

“Better.” He pulled his hand out experimentally. The odd sensation of heat blooming beneath his skin but it was much milder than before and began to fade quickly, replaced with a deep ache. “It still hurts a lot but the heat’s gone, I think.”

“That’s good. I’m sure the water helped but it would suck to give you frostbite on top of a burn.” Cassandra sat beside him, pulling his arm to herself. Leaning into her, Varian held it out for her to inspect. He was blistering but now that the panic of the moment was over it seemed like it wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. Cassandra was stiff beside him. He glanced at her. A delicate flush covered her face, but her expression was darkening. Her body was tense and warm. Oh lord he was leaning on her! Varian shot upright, nearly jerking his arm out of her grip. She didn’t comment on it and instead focused very hard on carefully drying and wrapping his wrist. After their conversation in the small hours of the morning he’d have thought he might not feel so self conscious with her. It would appear that assumption would be wrong. 

Cassandra sighed as she tied off the bandage and leveled him with a look. “Okay, I know you know what you’re doing, but that was stupid, Varian.”

“Excuse me?” He drew back from her indignantly. “Stupid?”

“Yes, stupid! Pushing that thing clear into the fire like that! It could’ve blown your fingers off! Blinded you! God, Varian! NNGH!!” Growling in frustration, Cass jumped to her feet and kicked a rock into the water. It landed with a disappointing splash and she grabbed at another one that she hurled after it. “It was irresponsible! You’ve always done that! You start thinking about stuff and you just don’t CARE.” Varian climbed to his feet as Cassandra seethed at the water. Her sharp eyes were darting around,too anxious to settle on anything. Her comments stung something inside him and his temper flared in a way it hadn’t in years.

“I don’t care? I don’t care? How oblivious can you be?” Cassandra’s stare snapped to him, her brow furrowed and the lines of her body rigid. “If you think I don’t care you must be even stupider than I am! I’m not that kid that blew up the village anymore, Cassandra! I’m not a failure! And I’m definitely not stupid! Why do you thing I’m out here?” He threw a finger in her face, jabbing at the air and getting himself so worked up that he just needed to do something and it seemed the least harmful action. “Do I bother you that much? Huh?? If I’m so stupid why are you hanging around here? Why waste your ti-“ he cut himself off, swearing softly under his breath. He’d momentarily forgotten his hand and made a fist. The gesture had pulled at the damaged skin and nerves. For a moment he was startled, breathless, and he turned away from her. 

Cassandra shifted, her expression dark. Varian’s hunched form struck her with guilt, heavy and barbed. With an irritated scoff she stomped past him. Varian’s head shot up, his eyes wide. Was she leaving? Should he follow her? What had even happened? He wasn’t sure why he had risen to her ire so quickly. It was a sore spot for sure, but he didn’t think she’d press it intentionally. He didn’t think she would be cruel like that.

Across the clearing she threw the door open and stomped into the house. He’s told her off...she was probably gathering her things to leave. Of course he’d screwed up something as simple as having a friend visit. He’d gotten defensive and driven her away. He deserved to be here all by himself. 

An uneasy chirp sounded from overhead and Varian glanced up to see Ruddiger clinging to a branch, Owl above him. The raccoon had probably been watching the whole thing. An interruption would’ve been convenient but logically he knew they probably wouldn’t have even noticed. Sighing dejectedly, Varian looked back to the cottage. It stood silent. “Well. If I had taken the time to make sense of the past two days and wanted to say anything to her I just threw that chance out the window.” Ruddiger dropped into his shoulder and he lifted a hand, stopping himself short when he saw the bandage. Better not to aggravate it. “Maybe she’ll get over it? It has been a stressful day…”

The cottage door flew open and Cassandra stomped out again with her cloak, causing Varian to flinch back and his defenses to go up. So she wasn’t done, was she? He could hold his own in an argument. Instead of coming at him Cassandra held up Varian’s old oversized coat and satchel, her face turned away. “Let’s go, shrimp.”

“Go where? I’m not going anywhere.” Like he’s let her drag him off somewhere when they were mad at each other. She was as likely to leave him up a tree as she was to apologize. Even from where he stood he could see the way her shoulders hunched for a second before dropping. What was her deal?

“We’re going to the medic. Need to make sure you don’t get an infection or anything.” 

“The castle medic?” She shook the coat insistently and Varian approached her slowly. It was a sensible suggestion but the past few moments had been one thing after another to catch him off guard. He took his things and she wordlessly went for Fidella. How was he supposed to react to all this? Was she not mad anymore? Why had she even gotten mad to begin with? 

Why was his life so confusing all of a sudden?

He slipped the coat on, grateful for the warmth of Ruddiger’s chubby body against his neck. The satchel held his journal and a few vials that he tended to always keep there. Everything he needed for a short trip. Cassandra was already in the saddle, looking back over her shoulder but keeping her eyes resolutely down and away from him. “You coming or not?” 

A hand, for him or maybe a wordless offer of apology, helping him climb up behind her. The curve of the saddle tipped his body forward into Cassandra but neither of them commented on it as she spurred Fidella into a trot and began the long trek to the castle town.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this chapter taking so long. You guys know how much stuff is going on. My mental health has taken a bit of a hit with everything and motivation/concentration was hard for me to find. 
> 
> Hopefully I can keep a good pace. Thinking a lot about future chapters and some one shots to accompany this story. Maybe even another multichaptered one. We’ll find out.

It was a long trip. It felt even longer due to the heightened temper between them. Every hour or so Varian would feel Cassandra take a deep breath, her head would turn back toward him slightly, then return forward as she deflated. He puzzled over this the first time, then chalked it up to the fact that she never had been good at apologizing or talking about feelings. As far as he knew she wasn’t, anyway. He could’ve started, he was well aware, but he still wasn’t even sure what had spurred the fight so he kept quiet, trying to ignore the throbbing in his hand and the way Fidella’s gait was constantly jostling them together. It would’ve been nice to be so close to Cassandra if they were in a better mood, but as it was they only felt a prolonged awkwardness. 

How long had they been riding? Did it just feel like it was taking forever? The sun had passed noon a long time ago, the thin light reaching them unhindered by the bare branches overhead. They’d been in a wooded area for a while now, Cassandra having abandoned the road not long after they’d left. Varian assumed it was a shortcut since she was excellent at finding her way, but as the light was fading slowly around them his trust in her faded as well. 

He really didn’t want to be out there in the dark. He wasn’t frightened or anything but the fact that it was cold wasn’t much deterrent to criminals. Varian waited a few more minutes before he cleared his throat. “I know you know where we are. And I’ll admit I’m not crazy about going into town needlessly but I feel like we should’ve been there a long time ago.” Cassandra’s arms tightened against her sides, her body language tense. 

“You’re right. I know where we are, and we’ll get there when we get there.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He didn’t mean for it to come out irritated but it was out of his mouth before his mind even processed it. He felt Cassandra stiffen and put his hands on her arms, not sure what else to do. “Ah! No, I uh…” It was the wrong thing, apparently, because her head snapped toward him, her eyes flashing dangerously. Varian snatched his hands away and held them up. “Sorry! I’m sorry, Cass, that came out wrong. I just, I dunno, it feels like it’s taking too long and we haven’t stopped in a long time and honestly I’m starving and tired and...and I dunno. We’ll get there when we get there.”

She stared at him for a long moment, her lips pursed together. Eventually her eyes dropped and slid away from him. “No. You’re right. I’ve been stalling.”

“What?” Varian sat up, his surprise at the sudden admission outweighing his surprise at her change of tone. She surprised him a lot. 

“We should’ve been there an hour ago. I was waiting for night to fall so not as many people would be out.” She leaned forward, her head dipping toward Fidella’s mane as if she wanted to hide her face in it. Varian mulled over her words, his eyes wandering over her slumped shoulders. 

“Did it… did things not go well last time you visited?” He asked gently, feeling that it might be a sensitive subject. Cassandra sighed and sank forward a little more. The horse made a questioning noise and turned to glance back at them.

“Varian, I…” Her voice cracked, almost imperceptibly, and she cut herself off before straightening up slowly. When she spoke again her voice was firm and devoid of what had almost broken through a moment before. “I haven’t been back since the first time I left.”

“What? But I saw you a few weeks ago!”

“You saw me. I was too much of a coward to go farther than Old Corona.” She shook her head, the disgust she felt at herself evident in her voice. “I was afraid of facing everyone after all that happened. So I didn’t.”

“Cassandra…”

“I don’t need you telling me it’s okay. It’s not, Varian.”

“I wasn’t going to.” She looked back at him again, her expression cautious and her eyes narrowed. Varian couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to tell you that because I know you won’t listen. And...I understand.” He frowned and busied himself with scratching along Ruddiger’s spine, mostly to avoid looking at her. “I didn’t… a lot of people still don’t trust me. They don’t care that I can hear them whispering behind me. They don’t care that I have a title now. I’ve seen people make their kids go inside when I’m coming down the street. Shops have shut in my face.” He pressed his cheek into the raccoon’s fur and gave Cassandra a sidelong look. “It doesn’t really go away, Cass. You just have to let it roll off your back and do what you need to do.”

She studied him for a long moment before looking off into the trees toward what he assumed was the castle town. Her thoughts weren’t evident to him and he watched her as she thought, trying to ignore the pit the admission had made grow in his stomach. At home, with his dad or his friends he could forget that things still weren’t okay for him. Did Cassandra have anyone out there that helped her forget? He hoped so, although he imagined it would be hard for someone new to break through her walls enough to be a friend. 

“You’re right. I’m being silly, aren’t I?” It was forced. The casual way she agreed with him was painfully transparent. For a moment Varian said nothing. She turned Fidella in the direction she’d been looking and Varian shook his head.

“No. It’s a lot to face, Cass.” She looked at him again. “We can face it together this fine, at least.”

“You know, you’re a good friend. I’m sorry about this morning, Varian.”

“Me too.” He returned the smile and leaned into her, ducking to touch his forehead to the back of her neck. He’d thought a hug would be too much, but the gesture struck him with an odd intimacy that he wasn’t quite prepared for. A few seconds was all he allowed himself before pulling away. Cassandra let the contact pass with comment and finally set Fidella into a trot toward town. 

Their welcome was what Cassandra had expected. Even though night had fallen before they reached the bridge into town as soon as Fidella’s hooves hit the cobblestones, as soon as they were close enough for people to recognize them, what few people there were out and about cleared away from them. Many slipped into doorways, some simply moved to the opposite side of the street. There were stares. Hissed words floated to them from behind hands, gasps of “that witch!” “He’s fallen in with her now?” And several wondering to each other if the guard should be called. 

Cassandra rode with her head high and her eyes forward, her guard training still inspiring a proud stubbornness. Varian kept his eyes on her back. He had a harder time with the weight of their cold stares, despite his words to Cassandra earlier. He withstood the distrust as well as he could but it wasn’t in his nature to disregard such hurtful reactions. It helped that he wasn’t alone, that Cassandra and Ruddiger were there, but he still could not bring himself to look back at them. 

The whispers and stares followed them through the streets, even to the gates of the castle itself. Occasionally there was a friendlier face - for Varian. People he had regular dealings with as Royal Engineer. Cassandra was met wholly as the outsider they’d decided she was. 

Varian could feel her becoming more and more tense as they went. By the time they arrived at the castle gates she was practically shaking. He chanced a hand on her shoulder, a gentle reminder that a friend literally was at her back. The shaking stopped but nothing about her posture softened. 

The guard at the gate was young and unfamiliar to her. He straightened, face full of determination, and moved into their way.

“Miss. I must ask what business you have here.”

“This is a cold reception when I’ve done nothing to warrant one,” Cassandra said evenly. Her tone betrayed nothing of her discomfort and for a moment the guard seemed unsure of himself. 

“This castle is the home of the royal family. Grievances may be brought before the princess during daylight hours. All other visitors must be by appointment or invitation.”

Cassandra bristled a little, obviously not used to being harassed by doormen. Before she could complicate the visit Varian leaned around her and waved before scrambling down to his feet. “Hi! Hello. I don’t know if you remember me or not…”

“Sir!” The guard’s face brightened in recognition and he dipped his head in an acknowledgement that Varian found still felt strange. He liked being respected, but he also liked just being Varian. “My apologies, I didn’t realize you were uh, accompanying this...lady.” He glanced up at Cassandra, who was watching him with little warmth. “Have you come on business? Should I announce you?”

“No. No, I’d rather you didn’t. Lady Cassandra and I were hoping to see the Royal Medic, and visit Princess Rapunzel and her family.” The guard’s eyes widened and darted toward Cassandra. 

“If you let us in quickly I might consider not telling them you were giving us trouble.” Cassandra swung herself down beside Varian and crossed her arms unhappily. 

“She’s kidding! Of course she is!” Varian elbowed her and the corner of her mouth curled a little as he scrambled to smooth the threat over. “Now, may we?” The guard looked between them, still obviously uncomfortable but someone with a Royal title would normally have been granted entry to the castle no matter the time. Former enemies of the people? He wasn’t so sure on that point. They stood there for an awkward moment before the guard fumbled with the gate and stepped aside to let them pass. He kept his eyes down, his expression heavy with worry. Varian wondered if it was Cassandra causing his discomfort and thanked him quietly as they passed. 

Inside the gate Cassandra paused to remove Fidella’s bridle and strike her nose gently. “You know your way. Get some rest. We’ll find you when we’re ready to go.” The horse knickered happily and nuzzles her nose against Cassandra’s curls before trotting happily off into the darkness. 

——

As dark as it was, in the midst of winter it still wasn’t late when they quietly entered the front hall of the castle of Corona. It was a little warmer, but the large room didn’t have enough fires going to keep the chill completely out. The smell of a far off meal tinged the air, faded as if it had already passed and was only clinging to the air to tease them. Varian’s stomach growled and he chuckled, drawing a subdued smile from Cassandra. 

“Maybe we can drop by the kitchens after the medic?” She offered softly. There was an apology in it somewhere, he thought, for dragging him through the forest all day with no food. He returned the smile warmly. 

“Maybe we can get some cakes to take home.”

“I’ll make sure of it.” She winked and Varian busied himself with making sure Ruddiger was still comfortable under his coat collar. His face was hot despite the cold. 

“I think the medic has quarters somewhere around here. Maybe close to the room I usually use. I should be able to find it easily.” He eyed Cassandra. “What’re you going to do?”

“I’ll go see Raps, I guess. It’s been...a really long time. I should.” She looked uncomfortable at the idea, although Varian wasn’t sure why. Rapunzel spoke fondly of Cassanadra often, even with such a long separation. Maybe she was worried about the King and Queen. That, he could understand. 

“Okay. You want to find me when you’re done visiting? I don’t spend a lot of time here so I still get a little turned around. My room is Eugene’s old room…”

“Yeah, sure. I know where that is, unfortunately.” Cassandra rolled her eyes, but wore a small smile. “Go get fixed up.” She shooed him away and approached one of the fireplaces, warming herself as she watched him wandering down an adjoining hall. When he turned a corner out of sight, she moved quickly.

The halls she’d grown up in were still familiar, and her feet lead her without much thought. There was no use going directly to Rapunzel’s room, it was still much too early for her to have gone to bed. Judging by the scent of the air the royal family had finished their supper recently and would be relaxing somewhere. The winter air meant the garden was unlikely so her feet turned her toward the library. The princess wasn’t a bookworm by any means but she had often enjoyed thumbing through the genealogy records there or admiring the illuminated lettering of the older volumes. It had been years, but Cassandra hoped that her friend’s habits hadn’t changed too much. 

Staff hurried past her, giving her second glances as they finished up their duties for the day. She ignored them gracefully, continuing to walk the halls as if she still belonged there. Even if she felt a little out of place she hoped that it was common knowledge among that staff that she was still welcome. Their hesitance to approach her was reassuring in a way and Cassandra, unhindered, soon found herself approaching the large doors of the second floor library. They were closed, winter practice for keeping warmth in each room of the castle, and she stopped in front of them, her hands in fists at her sides. 

Rapunzel would be happy to see her. 

She loved her, she was her friend. She had told Cassandra this herself on that horrible day all those years ago. Even now there was no doubt that the princess would receive her with open arms. The rest of the family? That did worry her. Just a little. Eugene would probably follow Rapunzel’s lead. He had always trusted her judgement on a lot of things. Even if he didn’t give her a warm welcome she would meet him with the confident iciness she used to. King Frederick and Queen Arianna, however, were what made her nervous. Were they in there as well? Would she still be welcome once they saw her? 

She raised a fist to knock, hesitating. She could leave. She could go wait for Varian at his room, tell him they had been busy, and be on her way by tomorrow afternoon. He didn’t seem entirely at home there anyway, he’d probably be happy with leaving right away. They could just make sure that he would mend well so she wouldn’t worry about him. A muffled giggle escaped the thick door and her heart flew into her throat. That was Rapunzel’s laugh! She’d know it anywhere! She was right there beyond that door! Obviously, she wasn’t alone. But who was with her?

“Excuse me, miss…” Cassandra jerked away in surprise, the small voice catching her completely off guard. She’d been so absorbed in her thoughts she hadn’t heard the maid approaching her, or registered her standing awkwardly beside her for several minutes. The girl held a tea tray with two cups, which tilted precariously as she also pulled away in surprise. Cassandra reached to steady it, shaking her head apologetically. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry. I was thinking and I just didn’t...I’m in your way. Excuse me.” The girl’s eyes were wide, watching Cassandra with delayed recognition as she stepped away from the door. She seemed unsure how to react to her and just stood there, her eyes flicking toward the door. Rapunzel’s voice sounded again, just on the other side and Cassandra straightened as the door opened inward and Arianna stepped into view.

Not Arianna. Unnoticed, Cassandra stared. Rapunzel’s chestnut hair had grown to past her shoulders, a length she had never let it reach in the past. As a result she was the very image of her mother. The likeness had never been so apparent. Her mannerisms were not the polished things Cassandra had tried to practice into her, however, and she found herself smiling fondly when the princess relieved the tray from the ruffled maid. She was smiling and insisting, breaking the protocol of being served as she always had. 

The sight of her melted away the doubts that had frozen Cassandra. She was there, right there, and she could see her at last. Cassandra put her hands on her hips and laughed. “You haven’t changed, have you?”

Rapunzel spun toward her so fast that the contents of the tray slid and the sugar bowl went toppling into the maid’s outstretched hands. Only a few cubes escaped. The princess didn’t notice. Sensing the need, the maid plunked the bowl onto the tray and smacked a hand underneath to catch it all as Rapunzel all but dropped it and threw herself at Cassandra. 

“CASS!!” The hug was bone crushing. It was so achingly familiar that Cassandra practically melted into the embrace. Rapunzel pulled back to look her over, her eyes flitting over her curiously. Cassandra did the same, noting that the princess’ face had thinned out a little in her twenties. 

“Wow. You look like your mom, Raps.”

“Thank you. You look wonderful!” She patted Cassandra’s face. “Oh, you’ve got so much color! You look happy! Are you happy?”

“Uh…”

“Oh, I guess that’s kinda a pushy question, isn’t it? I’m sorry. You want to come in? We were getting ready to have tea. I could ask for another cup?” She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled hopefully. Cassandra glanced apologetically at the maid. 

“Some hot tea sounds wonderful, actually.”

“Great!” Rapunzel turned to the maid, realizing for the first time that she seemed a little blindsided by the reunion. “Oh! Miriam, I’m so sorry. I was excited, I didn’t mean to run into you like that.”

“Of course, Highness. Shall I fetch another cup? Maybe another tea if lavender isn’t to your guest’s liking?” She looked at Cassandra, who didn’t really know if that would be to her liking and waved a hand dismissively. Miriam curtseyed and went to hurry back down the hall. Rapunzel took Cassandra’s arm and lead her into the library. There was a lot to talk about.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a whopping 5,000+ words so I hope you guys enjoy it! 
> 
> I did gloss over a scene a bit because while not all of this story is Varian’s point of view, it mostly is and it is for sure something he’d have fainted during lol
> 
> Also I don’t remember if the medic in the series had a name, I gave him one that isn’t important, and in his place an oc of mine makes an appearance instead. It’s just a minor part.
> 
> You can see him here:  
> https://scribbles-n-pins.tumblr.com/post/176681273346/i-havents-made-an-oc-in-like-ten-years-its#notes
> 
> Also, warning for a very vague reference to prostitution. Like it’s only implied, honestly

Rapunzel was not alone in that room. Cassandra had seen two cups on the tray, of course, and had assumed that one would be Eugene’s. When she followed the princess back into the library, however, she found Arianna standing to greet her with a warm smile. The queen’s eyes darted over her, covertly taking her in before she spoke. “Cassandra. Welcome home.”

“Thank you.” Thank heavens her voice didn’t shake like she thought it would. She bowed at the waist, her eyes on the floor. The queen had never been as demanding in the area of protocol as King Frederick but after the way Cassandra had left things she thought it better to err on the side of caution. Arianna stepped up to her, an amused shine to her eyes as she touched Cassandra’s shoulder, beckoning her to straighten. 

“You always did have impeccable manners, but please don’t be so nervous on my account. Rapunzel cares for you very much, you are always welcome here, Cassandra.” She touched Cassandra’s chin, the contact fleeting, but intimacy of that kind coming from the queen sent a blush into her cheeks. Rapunzel beamed and hugged her mother over the shoulders. 

“Aw, mom! You’re so nice~”

“I know. Don’t tell your father.” Arianna chuckled. It was strange, the demure and proper monarch was joking and laughing? Cassandra looked back and forth between them, puzzled. Rapunzel did have an interesting effect on people. She seemed to bring the best out in them. 

“So!” Rapunzel unwound herself and took Cassandra by the hand, pulling her over to a comfortable looking couch. She moved a pile of books to the floor and bounced onto the cushion, patting the spot beside her invitingly. “Tell me how things are! Where have you visited? Have you made any new friends?”

“Uh, well,” she took the offered seat, relaxing a little as Arianna wandered back toward an armchair with a book lying open over the arm. That she was giving them a semblance of privacy calmed Cassandra’s confusion a great deal and she smiled at Rapunzel as she sank back into the plush couch. “I’ve actually done a lot since I’ve been gone. I’ve played bodyguard - which isn’t as fun as it sounded, and I’ve done some bounty hunting in Ingvar.”

“Wow, you’ve gone that far? I bet that was exciting!”

“It was! And it’s so satisfying when those lowlifes realize they can’t beat you and start cowering,” she laughed. She’d found bounty hunting was right up her alley. She got to go after bad guys, fight a little and rough them up, and get paid for the fun of it. Perhaps it wasn’t as honorable as being in the guard would have been but the more she excelled at it the more she found she enjoyed it. Rapunzel was shaking her head, amused. “Oh, I’ve explored a lot, too. There are a lot of ruins between here and the other kingdoms, you know?”

“Ruins? Anything interesting?” Rapunzel asked, leaning forward. Cassandra knew what she was hoping for and shrugged.

“Nothing magical if that’s what you mean. Pretty interesting from an anthropological standpoint, though.”

“Oh.” She nodded, not seeming disappointed. “Maybe I can see some with you sometime? It would be a lot of fun to travel together again.” 

“It would, Raps. Maybe when the weather warms up. Wonder if Varian would want to go…” she muttered to herself. It was an afterthought, almost, but as always Rapunzel was right on top of her and she perked up excitedly.

“That’s a wonderful idea! You know, he became the royal engineer after you left? He’s really taken to it, too. I’m so proud of how he’s doing. You should stop in and see him before you leave. There’s this little house on the edge of Old Corona…”

“Oh, I already did. That’s why I’m here so late, actually. He messed up his hand-“ She began to wave a hand dismissively but Rapunzel’s eyes had grown wide. 

“He got hurt??”

“Oh, a little? He got burned and some little cuts. Otherwise he’s fine. Really, it’s more of a precaution that he’s here.” Cassandra swore inwardly. She’d forgotten that Rapunzel would worry about him as soon as she heard he was injured in any way. That was the normal reaction, wasn’t it? Maybe she’d been away from nice people for too long. 

“Oh that’s awful! I’m glad he came, though. Dr. Mella is away but an acquaintance of his is filling in.” She pulled her hair over her shoulder, fussing with the strands nervously. “I’d like to go see how he’s doing…”

“Maybe you should wait until morning,” Ariana has been listening from her armchair. She looked sheepish when Rapunzel turned to her. “He and Cassandra have both come a long way. I’m sure they would appreciate some rest.”

“It’s not that late!” Rapunzel shook her head, her face taking on that stubborn frown Cassandra had seen so many times. “And he’s my friend, I should check on him, shouldn’t I?”

Cassandra moved to object. Friend or not she expected he wouldn’t feel like listening to Rapunzel’s chatter after she’d dragged him all over the kingdom. Before she could speak a soft knock preceded the door opening. Miriam bowed her way in politely, setting the tea tray on a small table near the door. “I brought fresh tea! Also, another cup and some sweets. Shall I fetch anything else?”

Ariana seized the distraction, effortlessly using it to derail the conversation. “Miriam! Always right on time. I was just thinking some sweets would be nice. You’re a mind reader, aren’t you?” She hurried to the tray as Miriam poured the cups out. Cassandra could smell something very floral. Hopefully that wasn’t actually the tea smelling like that? The urge to wrinkle her nose was strong but she forced it into a polite expression of interest as the maid brought her a cup and saucer with some dainty cookies nestled along one side. It was definitely the tea.

Ariana pulled a chair close to their couch and accepted her cup with a smile. Miriam excused herself softly and Cassandra watched her leave, lifting her cup to her lips. The taste wasn’t as strong as the smell and she found she didn’t mind it, although it wasn’t something she’d have requested. The heat of it felt divine as it spread through her. The three of them were quiet for a moment until Ariana hummed thoughtfully. 

“Cassandra?”

“Yes, ma’am?” She sat up straighter, a habit when being addressed by someone higher than her. Ariana didn’t seem to notice. “I was thinking. Dr. Mella’s friend will probably ask Varian to stay close for a few days so his healing can be monitored. Will you be staying as well?”

She hadn’t thought about it. She looked down at her tea and ignored Rapunzel’s eager stare. She didn’t have anywhere she needed to be at the moment. No jobs she was working or people she was tracking. Varian would be fine on his own, but last night...it has been nice to have someone close by. Even if he hadn’t given her the bed the sense of another person not being far away, especially someone she knew and trusted, haddelt good. She hadn’t realized that she’d missed it. 

She hadn’t realized she’d missed Varian. 

The thought irked her and she frowned. Missed Varian? Why would she do that? He’d been eighteen when she left, still a kid. They’d been friends but not particularly close ones. But where had she gone the last time she came to Corona? Where had she felt safe and sure to be welcomed? Before even Rapunzel… “Cass?”

Rapunzel’s voice startled her out of her thoughts. She could feel the blush rushing to her face and cleared her throat. Could you will away a bodily reaction like that? There wasn’t time to try. Rapunzel was looking at her with an eyebrow raised in confusion and Ariana was studying her quietly. “I’m sorry. I must be more tired than I thought. I would like to stay, if I’m allowed.”

“Allowed? Cass, you grew up here! This is your home whenever you want it to be.” Rapunzel leaned into her, smiling, and Cassandra felt another rush of warmth. Ariana watched her daughter fondly.

“I agree, you are always welcome here. Although I have a reason for asking,” Ariana said. Rapunzel sat up, her smile growing wider. A happy little wiggle ran through her and Cassandra leaned away. “In two days time we will be receiving guests from the other kingdoms. They are granting us their presence for the winter ball..my birthday, actually. I realize you have attended these events in the past as a handmaiden. Would you be interested in attending as a guest?”

“What?” Cassandra nearly dropped her teacup. A look at Rapunzel confirmed that she’d heard correctly. “Oh! I mean, your majesty! I would be honored.”

“I hope you’ll enjoy yourself, Cassandra. Of course, you will bring Varian with you?” Ariana looked pleased, more so due to Rapunzel’s happiness than Cassandra’s acceptance of her invitation. 

“I will. Thank you.”

“Ooooh, Cass!” Rapunzel remembered to set her tea down before she threw her arms around Cassandra. “This’ll be so much fun! I’m in charge of decorations so I’ll be pretty busy tomorrow but you can borrow one of my dresses if you want! And we can do your hair! You’ll look great!” Who could say no to her when she’s that happy? Not Cassandra. She laughed and returned the hug, trying to ignore the tiny doubt that hovered at the back of her thoughts. 

After the reception the townspeople had given her she didn’t know if a royal party was a smart place for her to be. 

——

Varian was tired. Really tired. The castle hallways were long and cold and it wasn’t the first time that day that he was glad to still have that old coat. It fit better than when he was younger but was still warm. Ruddiger had vacated the space beneath his collar to perch on his shoulder. It left his neck a little cold but the cheek brushing the raccoon’s fur was pleasantly warm. At least this was a path that he knew. His room, Rapunzel and Eugene’s room, the kitchens. These were the places he actually utilized in the castle and he’d walked the halls between many times over the past few years. They felt longer than usual. His hand was throbbing. Should it still be hurting so much? The thought that he’d messed up big this time had been floating in the back of his mind all day but he pushed it down once again. He needed his hands capable and whole. What if the damaged tissue went down too far? What if it hurt so much because the nerves were fried? Could he still work with a useless hand? If he lost his position in the kingdom would Corona’s tolerance for him finally fade?

Ruddiger tittered against his hair, sensing his friend’s anxiety. Varian slowed and stopped in the middle of the hall, using his healthy hand to scratch Ruddiger’s back. He lifted his other arm and rubbed at his face. Cassandra wasn’t there to distract him with her tension and confusing feelings. He was alone with his thoughts and as usual they were trying to run away with him. He couldn’t panic. Not yet. He had to take care of himself first and foremost and working himself up wouldn’t help him do that. 

What if she hadn’t been there? It could’ve been so much worse, or he could’ve put off leaving, thinking he was fine while the injury festered into sepsis. It would’ve been a stupid mistake. He knew better than that, didn’t he? He was smart, he would’ve known to take care of himself. 

Wouldn’t he? The more cynical side of his brain knew that he would’ve covered the blood so he couldn’t see it and gone back to work. He would’ve been too focused to want to stop, putting it off until later but ultimately forgetting about it. Maybe he wasn’t that smart, after all. He raised his bandaged hand to frown at it. The dressing had gotten dirty with their traveling, and Cassandra hadn’t done the most careful job wrapping it. It throbbed again as if to remind him of the blistered and torn skin beneath. Experimentally, he closed his fingers as if to grasp one of his vials. The skin pulled and burned, causing him to gasp and relax his fingers. Most of the injury was his palm and wrist but the mechanics of his body were too much. Tears welled in his eyes, pain and panic fighting to be expressed. He was such an idiot.

“What’re you doing here?” Varian gasped and spun in surprise. He hadn’t heard Eugene behind him, had no idea how long he’d been standing there. It must not have been long, as his face melted into a look of concern as soon as he saw Varian’s reddening eyes. “Jeez, Varian, you’re white as a ghost. What’s wrong?”

“Am I? O-Oh…” Varian cleared his throat and rubbed his cheeks, wincing at the pressure it put against his burn. When had his hands started to shake? He realized, standing there beneath Eugene’s expectant stare, that he’d been spiralling into an anxiety attack. His nerves still felt jittery and he took a deep breath to steady himself. “I guess...it’s been a really long day, Eugene.” Ruddiger’s paws patted at his hand.

“It must’ve been. We didn’t even know you were coming. Well, I assume we didn’t. Rapunzel usually lets me know stuff like that.” He stepped closer, his movements slow and measured in a way that Varian didn’t like at all. The man was perceptive, especially when it was bound to be annoying and he was sure that Eugene was only reaching to scratch Ruddiger’s head so he could get a closer look at Varian. As he thought, a few quick flicks of his eyes scanned Varian, taking in his tired face and slumped shoulders. He moved his bandaged hand out of view but it was too late. Eugene’s hand shot out to his upper arm. “Yikes! What’s that?”

“This? Ah, nothing. Just a little, Uh, thing. You know how it is.”

“Uh huh. A little thing that requires a lot of bandages.”

“Yeah.”

“And that your buddy there is awfully worried about.” He raised an eyebrow, obviously not appreciating being taken for a fool. Varian blushed and gave Ruddiger a reproachful look, but the raccoon huffed at him and pawed at his left shoulder worriedly. “Why’re you hiding it? Is it that bad?”

Damn his perception. “No. I mean, yes? It’s not as bad as it could be but it needs looked at…”

“I feel like it must be pretty bad to have you looking like this, Varian.” He bristled a little under Eugene’s frown but tamped it down. Running a hand through his hair, he realized belated that he’d been sweating through his panic. The jittery feeling was still manifesting as a tremble in his hands. He didn’t know if Eugene had noticed, so he pressed his fingers into his scalp and rubbed them around. “All pale and sweaty, like you started to faint or something.”

“I-I was just thinking. You know how I am with blood and stuff. What if it looks really bad under the bandage? I’ll probably pass out.” He laughed, as if he were not working himself down and had only been worried about his visit to the medic. Eugene’s expression relaxed, finally. He was well acquainted with Varian’s aversion to blood. 

“Oh! Why didn’t you say so? Listen, I get that. Not everyone can handle that stuff.” He clapped Varian on the shoulder, hesitating for a fraction of a second when he felt the tremble running through him, and grinned. “I’ll come with you. For emotional support, man to man.”

Varian started to shake his head, but stopped. Eugene’s presence was good. If he was talking then his brain wouldn’t have time to chase after every what-if that it could conjure. And even if he wouldn’t entertain the thought, generally it was nice to have someone with him for these things. He nodded, feeling his body relax a little more. “Actually, I’d appreciate that. Thanks, Eugene.”

“Naturally. I mean, you did help me when we singed off my eyebrows that one time…” Eugene put his arm across Varian’s shoulders, hugging him loosely as they began to continue down the hall. Ruddiger, put out, transferred himself to the taller man’s shoulder and found it convenient for snuffling at his boy’s hair. 

“Sorry that serum took a few tries. I’d have gotten it to you sooner but I really didn’t want to give you foot long ones.”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you. I’d have been able to trim them, right?”

“Eventually.”

“....Eventually?” Varian grinned, knowing that Eugene would’ve had a horrible time with the faulty hair growth recipe. They chatted as they continued down the hall, catching up after the weeks they’d been apart. Varian and Eugene had had very different lives but the times they’d spent together were some of Varian’s favorites. It was good to have friends to catch up with, who wanted to know that you’d been doing well and what sort of things you’d been working on. As unpleasant as it was to be generally disliked and untrusted by the town, the few good friends he had were well worth it. 

Each step was easier with someone beside him. Each breath deeper. They walked the hall together, Varian more and more glad for the reassuring weight of Eugene’s arm. Yes, it was so good to have friends.

He’d already been close to the medic’s quarters when he stopped and a scant ten minutes later he was knocking at the door. His stomach was in his throat but a glance at Eugene as he leaned against the wall eased the feeling. After the third knocking the door was flung open by a young, harried looking man. He looked at Varian, then Eugene with recognition. “These are my personal hours, aren’t they? I’m busy.”

“Hey.” Eugene gave him a charming smile and the man’s stern look faltered a little. “Varian, Dr Mella is away for a few weeks. This is Fioré. The temporary medic.” Fioré turned his stare to Varian, looking him up and down. Something nudges the back of Varian’s mind. Was this guy familiar?

“I’m an herbalist, actually, but that often crosses paths with the medical field. And to be fair, the royal family pays well.” He stepped aside to let them enter his quarters. Varian tried to steal another close look as he passed him, taking in his hair and eyes. A red scarf was tied around his head, keeping some of his hair back. The man caught his eye and raised an eyebrow, causing Varian to flush and scuttle after Eugene. “Through this door here and You can tell me what you need.”

They followed his direction to a smaller room off the main one. It contained a table and a chair that was obviously meant to seat a patient. Varian slowed at the sight of it but a nudge against his back from Eugene sent him stumbling into it. He sat rigidly and stuck his arm out. Fioré hid his mouth behind his arm, amused by his obvious discomfort. 

“Varian.” Eugene prompted, when he had let his arm hang in the air and didn’t offer anything more. He shook his head, clearing it and offered his hand toward Fioré again. 

“Sorry. Uh, this morning I was scalded by a burst pipe. It burnt me pretty bad and there were some little cuts. Can you do anything for it?” Varian asked quietly. He didn’t feel like the explanation really did it justice but if this guy knew anything of what he was doing it was all he needed. Fioré nodded and unwrapped the bandages from his arm. Varian resolutely kept his face turned away but he heard Eugene whistle at the sight. He winced when Fioré touched the burns and inspected them. 

“The cuts are mostly superficial, although this bigger one on the heel of your hand worries me. I’d like to make sure there’s no debris in it. I can see where the blistering was but they didn’t make it through your trip here, I guess.” Varian looked at Eugene. His face had grown paler and the older man patted his shoulder. Fioré rummaged around several stacks of equipment, finally finding what he was looking for: a long set of tweezer-like things. Varian felt cold as he looked at it. Shakily, he reached out for Eugene’s arm. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick…”

What followed after was a blur. There was metal in his hand, he knew, but he fainted twice during the whole examination, scaring Fioré nearly to death. He was almost glad that he fainted, considering it allowed him to skip on experiencing it. The herbalist insisted on looking at his arm thoroughly, so it was more than an hour before he allowed Varian to leave. He gave him instructions to visit again in a few days and a little pot of an antibiotic. It was his own making and Varian had taken the little thing dubiously. Before he could question it Eugene had ushered him toward the door. 

Varian didn’t protest. He could always ask about it when he went to follow up with Fioré. Instead he was silent as he walked with his friend, staring thoughtfully at his bandaged hand. There were some small stitches under there, he knew, from where the shrapnel had gotten him. It ached but the feeling wasn’t as sharp as it had been. Experimentally, he made a first and hissed through his teeth. Now not only did the burns pull at his skin, but the stitches pulled at it too. Fortunately whatever Fioré had put on it dulled the pain. Eugene stopped at the hiss, his eyebrows creasing in concern. “You okay? We can go back if you need to.”

“No no. It’s fine, I was just.. you know. Feeling it out.” He continues walking, prompting Eugene to keep pace with him. “As rough as that was I’m glad Cass brought me in. It’ll heal faster now.”

“Cassandra brought you in?”

Varian rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Did I not… I thought I mentioned that? Sorry.”

“We haven’t seen her in years.” Eugene crossed his arms. “Where is she? She didn’t leave already, did she?”

“She was going to see the princess.” He didn’t add that she was meeting up with him afterward. That wasn’t important. Well, it was, but he didn’t want Eugene butting in. He stopped that thought as soon as it formed. Eugene had his back any time he needed it, he knew that, but he wasn’t sure if he’d have much time with Cassandra now that they were in the castle. He wanted to get what he could. His friend would understand that but Varian did not find the words to express it. Why? He wasn’t really sure of all the feelings he had been having. He hadn’t really taken enough time to think through them in a way that was logical and unhindered by his heart going crazy because she was so close to him. He glanced at Eugene. A well experienced friend was supposed to be good for this stuff, wasn’t it?

“I’m glad she did. Blondie’ll be real happy to see her. When we get letters she talks about it for days.”

“Hey, Eugene?” They’d reached the hallway where his room was. He stopped at the door and looked at Eugene. He was still taller than him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Is this my old room?”

“Focus.” He let them in and dropped his coat next to the door. Ruddiger jumped off Eugene’s shoulder to check the room out. “You’ve...been around.”

“Heh I really have.” He grinned.

“You’ve been around….ladies.”

“Well, obviously. I mean, I am charmi—“ Eugene froze as the statement sunk in. Slowly a smirk curled across his face and he raised an eyebrow at Varian. “Why?

Varian felt the blush and Eugene’s grin widened before he could turn away so he didn’t bother. “Uh, well, you know what most people would call formative years, for me, were..used for other things. And since then I’m not really the most popular guy, so…”

“Varian Varian Varian.” Eugene was next to him in one smooth movement, his arm resting that reassuring weight across his shoulders once more. “No need to be embarrassed. The company of the fairer sex is by far one of life’s greater gifts. No one should miss out on that. I know I’m technically a noble nowadays but I do still know some people who are in that line of work. What do you think you would go for? I’m thinking sweet and gentle, especially since you haven’t had much chance to explore your interests.” Varian’s face was getting redder with each word. He supposed he could be grateful that Eugene didn’t meet this assumption with judgement but really! 

“No, Eugene, I-“

“Or maybe someone would let you try out a few things. Most girls are pretty accommodating.”

“That’s not-“

“No? Oh! Whoa, didn’t even think about that. Sorry, Varian. I do know a few men in the business. Not my cup of tea but I can vouch for them in a general sense. You like muscles?”

“Oh for-I’m talking about Cassandra!” It came out much louder than he’d have liked, but Eugene finally heard him. He looked at Varian blankly as he processed it. 

“Cassandra?”

“Yes. Yes, Cassandra.” Varian pushed his arm away and paced to the other side of the room, running his hands through his hair. Eugene sat on the bed, watching him with a thoughtful look. “She showed up yesterday morning all ‘I’m going to chop this wood for you and look fabulous doing it’ and I invited her to stay the night because of the weather and it’s been like five years but she’s still so pretty and cool and I don’t know WHY this is all coming back! I was like fourteen it wasn’t even real feelings or anything but they’re all coming back but it’s different and it’s SO MUCH WORSE.”

“Uh huh…”

“I don’t want to scare her off or make things weird! That’s all I did back then, make it super weird for her! I want her to be my friend and keep visiting but maybe let me like hug her or something every once in a while except I start getting anywhere close to her and I’m getting heart palpitations and I get shaky sometimes and you have no idea how hard it was to get here today we were on the same horse! THE SAME HORSE, Eugene! All up against each other and we had this fight because she was SO mad I got hurt, like god, woman, it’s not like I did it on purpose!” He groaned, moving back over to flop down beside Eugene. “I don’t even know what I need to talk about thisisSOFRUSTRATING!”

“Okay. Wow. I didn’t expect all that.”

“....neither...did I.” Varian closed his eyes and covered his face. Was he really so pent up that he should be acting like this? Emotional outbursts were unlike him. He didn’t like the way he felt, even after letting everything out. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to get so worked up. It’s been a really long day.”

“It sounds like it.” He felt the bed shift slightly as Eugene lay back next to him. For a long moment they both lay there in silence. Eventually Eugene chuckled softly. 

“You’re gonna laugh at me?”

“Sorry. I just...you were really weird about this when you were younger. It’s kind of funny that you’ve grown into it.”

“What do you mean?” Varian turned to look at him; but Eugene was still staring upward. “Grown into it?”

“Yeah. You love her.” Varian’s heart did a funny little flip. “Or at least, you’re attracted to her. The two aren’t totally separate”

“She’s only been back since yesterday. Doesn’t that sort of thing take longer?”

“I knew Rapunzel for two days before I died for her. Literally. You’ve known Cassandra for years.” That was an excellent point. Varian mulled the last days over carefully. They were both different, changed over the years. They were more open, and she had let him enter into moments of her letting her guard down, letting him past the walls she used to put up. They were only small things but they were, to him, significant.

She’d smiled at him so much. 

“You know, some of the stuff she’s said...I suppose one could interpret it as flirting. But she was so angry this morning…”

“When you hurt your hand?”

“Right.”

“Varian, you do realize you probably scared her to death, right?” The look Eugene gave him was a little pitying. “Cassandra may have lightened up a little but she’s never been great at expressing certain things.”

It was glaringly obvious, now that someone else was pointing it out to him. Of course. Varian felt like an idiot. He’d have to talk to her when she came later, apologize for everything and thank her for looking out for him. He didn’t know if it would really fix much but it definitely wouldn’t hurt. 

It might be possible, even, that she was feeling some things for him, too. Maybe that was why she’d reacted so negatively. Varian smiled to himself and Eugene laughed again. “Yeah, I know that face,” he said. 

“You know what?”

“You feel better?”

“Yeah. Eugene, when I was kid I was in that science exposition. Remember?” 

“Kind of?”

“I made a new element.” Varian felt heat in his cheeks again, although it was more belated embarrassment at the memory. “I was trying really hard to impress her, you know? So I named this element after her and gave her a necklace I made from it after the show.”

“Cute. Man, I can’t believe she didn’t fall for you then and there~” 

“Shut up.” Varian elbowed him. He didn’t mind teasing from certain people, and Eugene had been at the top of that list for a long time. “It was dumb back then but it’s important! This morning I saw her without her jacket on. Eugene. She still has it. She wears it.”

“Really.” He pushed himself up on an elbow. “You’re sure about that?”

“Positive.” He folded his arms beneath his head, sighing happily. Even if he hadn’t been able to decide what he wanted to ask specifically, he felt better. He couldn’t wait to talk to Cassandra.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you guys enjoy reading it.

The forest, that damned nightmare of a place. Varian stumbled blindly, his heart pounding as he tried to find his way in the darkness. The ground beneath his feet shook beneath the weight of the automaton as it lumbered after him. He wished the darkness was comforting, that he could tuck himself into it and hide until it was over and daylight made him feel safe again. He knew better. He knew the intimate workings of the machine, every gear and cog that brought it roaring to life. He knew he couldn’t hide. It would find him. It always did. 

He fell. Brush scratched into his skin, pulled against his hair almost as if grasping at him, holding him down. Panic welled In him and he thrashed his way free. No, the brush had dropped away, suddenly thrust aside by the dark spike of rock that sprang from the earth. He stared at it in confusion, until the foot of the automaton crashed down only feet away. Another rock erupted next to him. Now there were two things after him, it seemed. Scrambling and terrified, Varian drug himself free and staggered to his feet. 

Everything hurt. He didn’t look down at himself, knew it would be too dark, and pushed himself onward. Was that light between the trees? His thoughts seized on the possibility, clinging to it like a drowning man to a rope. It was! He hoped it was. He made for it, desperate for help, for relief, for anything but this. When he broke through into the clearing he stopped short, eyes widening despite the sudden brightness of the blue light. 

Cassandra. She stood with her back to him and her head down but he knew her in an instant. The black armor, the striking blue of her hair, her hands balled into tight fists at her side. The rocks were everywhere, growing in abrupt jerks as they closed in on her. The light flared with each movement. He called her name, reached to her, but several new rocks rose between them, forcing him back. Cassandra’s head lifted slowly and she turned to him. Her hair shone and shifted, floating around her head. Her eyes were lifeless, black blocking out the hazel he expected. Tears ran down her cheeks, unnoticed. There was no recognition in her face. 

“Cass! What’s… no, we have to get out of here!” He pushed against the rocks, reaching for her, but she only looked at him blankly. Varian could still hear the automaton behind him, it’s metal screeching against the rocks in its path. They had done nothing to slow it. “Cassandra! Please!” Her face began to crumple, a hand lifting uncertainly toward him. Suddenly the ground surged beneath her feet. Varian cried out after her, his voice breaking. Didn’t she control the rocks? Her own weapon was turning on her! He watched her shrink in on herself, her arms wrapping around her body and folding in on herself. The shadow of the automaton bore down on him as the rocks rose to meet her. 

——  
Varian woke with Cassandra’s name in his throat and tears on his cheeks. He thrashed and kicked, realizing slowly that he was wrapped in the blankets from his bed as he lay across it. Reality worked its way back into his mind. His room at the castle. The medic. Eugene. Eugene? He was alone. After the long day he’d had he must’ve fallen asleep while they were talking. He made a mental note to thank his friend for covering him against the chill of the room. Wiggling out of his blankets he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. It was damp with sweat, the result of his panic moments before. Now, sitting on the edge of the bed he knew that he wouldn’t sleep again anytime soon. 

Wobbly with sleep, he made his way back to the door and dug his satchel our from the pile of his coat. Maybe writing it down would help his nerves. It would be nice if it helped him make sense of it. He tossed it into his bed and crossed to the wardrobe; pulling his shirt off. Fresh clothes and getting his thoughts down. That was a good plan. The clothes he kept at the castle were nicer than what he wore at home, mostly because he was supplied with new ones often but also because he was expected to be presentable more often and not just stay holed up in his lab. 

The cool air was as refreshing as the clean clothes and Varian was already feeling better as he pulled on a plain gray shirt and traded his pants for some warm brown ones. They were plain and comfortable and felt more like him than many of the options he had passed over. He messed with his hair again, fluffing it and feeling the air against his scalp. He definitely felt better.

He climbed into bed and pulled out the journal he made notes in. It would work. Before he wrote anything he took a moment to stare at the blank page. Conjuring up the images from his dream wasn’t pleasant, and he wasn’t eager to do it now that he felt better. Was there still any point to it? 

It got me this time. He froze at the thought. That was what had woken him, really. His stomach twisted at the thought. It got me… and the rocks… Cassandra had not been in his dreams since those embarrassing and unrealistic dreams he’d had as a kid. She’d certainly never been in any of his nightmares. Why would she show up now? When they’d talked the day before she seemed to regret what she’d done but he’d also thought she’d moved past it. Did she have dreams like this too? He wrote Cassandra?? and stared at it, remembering the horrible emptiness in her eyes. Regardless of how she felt about the past, Varian had dreamed it. He had forgiven her for all that, hadn’t he? If he hadn’t wouldn’t he have dealt with it by now? He drew some shapes around her name, mulling over the past. It stirred no animosity or ill will in him. There was a little hurt but it felt more like hurt for Cassandra than because of her. 

Cassandra’s name had a spiral of stars and feathers around it now. He honestly didn’t know. She’d been so broken in the dream, was he projecting something onto her subconsciously? He drew Ruddiger, curled up at the foot of the bed and added a few apples around him. None of it made sense. Then again, maybe it was just a dream. He knew that things a person was preoccupied with could influence dreams but he wasn’t a believer in signs and things of that kind. He was the source, but if he couldn’t put any significance to her appearance maybe there wasn’t any to begin with. It was just a dream.

Sighing, Varian dropped the journal onto the bed and pulled his boots on. He’d given the dream the attention it warranted and wanted to move on. If he didn’t, he knew, he wouldn’t be able to relax again. Ruddiger glanced at him with one eye and nuzzled back down into the blanket so Varian left him and let himself out into the dim hall. 

It was silent. Even his footsteps were muffled by the carpeting that ran along the middle of the corridors. There were night staff somewhere in the building, cooks preparing things to be baked tomorrow, guards moving about the castle, but no one seemed to be near as he made his way silently along. Lit sconces provided light, but every other one was extinguished so the light faded completely from one before he reached the next. It was different from the bustle of the day but Varian felt a peacefulness in it, and stretching his legs felt good enough that he soon began to forget the dream and the questions it raised. He hummed softly, his voice fading in and out as his attention did. 

He didn’t mind staying in the castle. It was easier to attend to his work there and he had everything he needed. Rarely was there not someone within earshot to assist him with whatever he needed, but it just wasn’t home. Even in Old Corona there was enough countryside that he could step outside and let his mind drift along the sounds of nature. He thought of the wind rustling the trees outside his little cottage and the stars overhead. It had been a clear day, they were probably bright tonight. It would be nice to sit under them with Cassandra. They could build a fire and share a blanket to keep each other warm. Varian could feel the blush rise in his face and for a moment he buried it in his hands. He was blushing over that? The thought of sharing a blanket? Sharing a blanket and looking at the stars how horribly cliche could he be? Just the thought of it was embarrassing! At least he wasn’t fantasizing the way he used to. At fourteen he probably would’ve dreamed about her swooning as he built her a spectacular bonfire and wrapped her in the finest furs while calling her “milady” or something stupid like that. The image brought another flush, this time of shame for his younger self and he couldn’t help a soft chuckle. Poor Cassandra. 

Still, he wouldn’t deny he would like to warm up together, feeling their sides press together and her dark curls brushing his cheek was very appealing. It wasn’t really that dumb of an idea. Maybe Cass would even like it, he thought with a smile. He’d have to offer if the opportunity ever presented itself. 

If she were still up… the castle was on the colder side with its stone and huge rooms. Maybe she wouldn’t mind sharing a little warmth with him tonight. Varian stopped and looked around, unsure which way her room would be. It was silly that he still got turned around here, but there were so many hallways and extra rooms. The halls were silent. To his left was another corridor down which he could make out the shape of tall windows thanks to the moonlight. He made for them. If he knew where he was in the castle he’d be able to find his way, he was sure. 

They were brighter up close, the slanted light striking the patterned floor was surprisingly bright and he smiled to himself as he passed through it. Astronomy wasn’t a particular interest of his but when it was so close he couldn’t help feeling a little impressed. 

The windows lined the corridor and for a moment Varian let his mind quiet and his steps take him in and out of the light. He moved gracefully, his face turned to the moon. It was peaceful and the night was soft around him. He spun as he went through a shaft, Cassandra’s soft laugh filling his thoughts. Did she dance? She must know how but did she like it? Would she like this? The question didn’t keep his attention for long as the idea itself took hold. He thought of her beside him, in his arms as they moved through the drifting moonbeams. Her hands touched his shoulders, his face, and she pressed close to him, that silken voice laughing softly around his name. She was so close to him, if he only moved a little closer he could-

A startled squeak brought Varian back to reality with a jerk. He stared at the maid who had just entered the hall in her nightclothes, his arms half raised. Oh this was a not happening. He didn’t move, but his eyes flickered away from her, looking for an escape. There, not far away, a door between two of the high windows. “Uh… “

“Oh, I thought you were a ghost! You frightened me, sir.” The maid put a hand to her cheek, still keeping a careful hold on her candle. “It’s odd to see anyone up at this hour. Did you need something? When you’re… finished?” Her gaze moved over him, obviously not sure what she was seeing. Varian lowered his arms slowly and scooted toward the door. 

“No! No, sorry, I’m fine. Just getting some exercise. Been in the lab all day, you know.” He felt for the handle blindly, giving her a wide, unconvincing smile. “I didn’t think I’d see anyone. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Sir, are you sure you’re all right?” She asked doubtfully. 

“Yes yes. I’m fine. Excuse me. Have to, uh think about some more stuff.” He found the handle and twisted it clumsily, his injured hand protesting, and made much more noise than he’d hoped as he practically fell through it. 

The night was freezing but thankfully still and windless. Varian shut the door and leaned against it, grateful for the cold air on his flushed face. Of course, the one time he lets his guard down and does something embarrassing someone had to see him. All the castle staff will likely know in the morning that the Royal Engineer dances alone through the halls. Wonderful. He rubbed his face, willing the blush away before looking around to assess where he’d ended up. Bare branches met overhead, tunnel-like as they moved away from him. He followed the path as it turned and open up into a wide, walled area. Even empty he could tell  
That he’d stumbled onto the castle gardens. He’d seen it briefly once or twice in the height of summer when the trees were full and everything burst with color. It had been beautiful then but now it just felt empty. 

He rubbed his arms, feeling the chill air begin to set into his skin. He doubted that the maid would linger in the hall for long now that he was gone. There was no reason she’d wait for him. He blew into his hands and looked up to the castle looming behind him. Rapunzel’s tower was easy to spot. If his memories of looking down from that balcony were correct then the front gates would be to his right from where he was standing now. If he stuck to the outer wall when he went inside he’d find his way back easily. Perfect!

“Ha!” Varian turned toward the voice, unsure if he’d really heard it. The garden was silent for a long moment. He knew he was tired, but hearing things? That was worrisome. Again came a sound, the quiet slap of boots against stone; then silence again. Varian glanced back at the castle once more and walked slowly deeper into the sleeping trees. There were decorative benches and the twigs of bare bushes that clung to him when he got too close. Beyond the flower beds there was a tall hedge, thin enough without its leaves that Varian’s eyes caught movement beyond it. Careful to stay quiet, he edged toward the end of the hedge and peered around it. 

A circular fountain decorated the little square space, its flow absent in the cold weather. Along the gently curved side, Cassandra was poised on the balls of her feet. Her face was focused and intense as she went through several movements with the spear she held. The movements were sharp and precise, its point spinning through the dark before thrusting out in front of her. “Ha!”

Varian supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. As much as she traveled she wouldn’t have been as worn out as he was after riding all day, and he’d known for a long time that fighting was almost a hobby for her. She loved swordplay and archery and… spear play? He wasn’t sure what to call it. It was impressive, whatever the name was. He watched her run through the moves again, adjusting her stance as if she were being pushed back. Again, moving back and forth along the fountain wall as if battling an opponent for ground. Her form was beautiful, the product of years of practice and for several minutes Varian watched silently, admiring her.

It was a little creepy, he thought, since she didn’t know that he was there. But really, when someone’s swinging a weapon around should you surprise them? He ducked back behind the hedge. Maybe if she was startled and took a stroke at him it would shield him. That would work, right? He looked at the bare branches doubtfully and stepped back several feet before calling out to her. “Hello? Cass?”

Something whizzed past the other side of the hedge and footsteps rushed toward him. Cassandra rounded the branches with wide eyes. “Varian? Oh, thank the sun I didn’t get you… you surprised me.”

“Sorry. You surprised me, too, though. What’re you doing out here so late?” He passed her and sat on the wall of the fountain, wincing as he used his hands to push himself up. Cassandra saw and frowned. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Yeah. It was nice seeing Raps again but I just feel uneasy, I guess.” She sat beside him, one arm draped around the haft of the spear. “Did you like the cake?”

“Cake?”

“Yeah.” Her face fell slightly. “I got us some from the kitchens but you were asleep already. I left it on the bedside table.”

“Oh the cake! I didn’t see it, I guess. I was kinda disoriented when I woke up.” Varian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, realizing the state it was in from his agitation earlier. He blushed and smoothed it down. Beside him. Cassandra smiled and roughed it up again. “Hey!”

“Disoriented? You going to elaborate on that?”

His eyes slid away from her uncertainly. “Uh… just a nightmare. I woke up suddenly and it left me kinda rattled.”

“Is that why you’re wandering around the gardens so late?” She didn’t press him for details, for which he was glad. He’d heard all the sentiments before and he didn’t want to hear them from Cassanadra. “Varian?”

“No, I-“ he thought of the maid and stopped. That wasn’t something she needed to know about. Not until she heard the rumor about it, anyway. “Yeah. Yeah, I thought the air might help.”

“It feels good, doesn’t it? Could be a little warmer but it’s not so bad if you move around.” She rapped her spear against the ground for emphasis.

“Is that why you’re out here? You said you felt uneasy.”

Cassandra was quiet for a moment, her eyes drifting away from Varian before coming back to him as she straightened. “Yes.” It was more direct than he’d expected from her. “I told you before. I haven’t been back here since I first left. I had expected the reaction we got in town but didn’t know what we’d be walking into here. Rapunzel is thrilled to see me, and that helps, but I don’t feel like the guard are going to relax around me.”

“Have they bothered you?” Varian asked sharply. It surprised both of them a little and they looked at each other uncertainly. Cassandra shook her head slowly. “No. If they did I could handle them, although I don’t like the idea of getting into trouble here again. No, it’s just...a feeling. Like intuition.”

“Intuition.” That was unscientific. Varian didn’t put much stock in intuition but he understood gut feelings, the hunch just before a solution clicked into place. They might not be all that different in the end. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Cassie.”

“It’s my own fault, I guess. Maybe it’s even in my head.” She shrugged, obviously intending to dismiss the issue. “If they’re on their guard a little more than usual then they’re just doing their jobs.”

“Yeah but that was years ago. You’re welcome here now and they shouldn’t make you feellike you aren’t.” He watched as Cassandra scooted away from him and lay down along the wall. She crossed one leg over the other and looked up at the sky. Her head was right by his leg and the moonlight was full on her face. It made her eyes shine and Varian had to try very hard not to lose himself in them. “This was your home.”

“Was. The world is my home now,” she said. She didn’t sound unhappy so Varian decided to let it go. She hadn’t pressed him, he would do her the same kindness. He hummed thoughtfully and shifted, mirroring her position so that the tops of their heads where next to each other. 

“What a romantic notion. The stunning lady of the sword, roaming the world in search of adventure. Something like that?”

“Something like that. I punch things, too.”

“Oh, can’t leave that out. In search of adventure and things to punch.”

“Much better. If I’m inspiring stories they’ve got to be realistic.” She laughed and Varian smiled. Was it cliche to hear music in her voice? He’d seen the notion in novels but had taken it as an exaggeration. Lying there in the freezing garden and listening to Cassandra giggle to herself he reassessed that. There was definitely music in it. “Although maybe not too realistic. I want people to actually want to hear them.”

“You could be the next Flynn Rider.”

“I could. I’d do a better job than Fitzherbert, anyway.” She lifted her hands and spread them as if spreading a banner in front of them. “The Adventures of Cassandra, the Hand of Justice! Nothing like a hero with a tortured past to draw people in.” 

“It’s not tortured enough. You need a lover that died in your arms or something.”

“Well I’d need a lover first.” The tone of her voice mystified Varian. She didn’t sound like she was joking. It didn’t sound inviting either. Wistful? He tilted his chin to look up at her, but her eyes were still on the sky. “But what’s the point of that if they’re just going to die off?” She was joking again, uneasily, and they fell silent as the moment passed. 

The stone pressing into his back was beginning to feel unpleasant, numbness sinking into his bones. Even so, Varian made no move to leave to companionable position they’d settled into. This wasn’t quite what he’d envisioned. There was no fire, no blanket, and fewer stars. There was Cassandra. That was perfect. He tilted his head back again, feeling the faint tickle of a lock of her hair. They were close. Perfect. 

“Uh… Varian?” He snapped his head back down so fast that his neck cracked. Cassandra shifted to glance at him before looking back at the sky. “Listen.”

“Yeah?” He cleared his throat, hating the little squeak in his voice. She didn’t notice it 

“Apparently the day after tomorrow is the Queen’s birthday celebration.” She didn’t sound happy and Varian pursed his lips together. He was required to attend royal events once in a while but had never had to be at something like that. Cassandra huffed softly, her hesitance evident in her voice. “She invited me.”

“The Queen?”

“Yeah.” Well. You didn’t exactly turn down royalty like that, even if they’re on the kinder side. “So I guess I’ll be attending. There’ll be a lot of people there.”

Oh. He could’ve kicked himself for not realizing outright. She’d just told him how uneasy being here made her and now she was going to have to attend a ball with royals and guards and who knew what else. “Cass…”

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but… a-and she mentioned you too but I can pretend like I didn’t get to ask you if you don’t-“

“I’ll go with you.” She stopped. Varian could hear the hesitance in her voice, the uncertainty that he would help her with this. It hurt him a little but he supposed it came from a place of being unused to asking people for things. Slowly, he saw her raise a hand and reach up to him. He clasped her frigid palm to his, squeezing it reassuringly through the sting of his stitches and trying to offer her the security he knew she needed. She squeezed back. 

They clung to the contact.

——

By the time Varian returned to his room he felt frozen all the way through. The cake was gone, little paw marks had smeared the icing off the edges of the plate and Ruddiger was pretending to be very asleep on his pillow. Varian barely noticed. His hand was tingling. Or was it? He kicked off his boots and wiggled underneath the heavy blankets of the bed and cuddled his cheek into the raccoon’s back, still looking at his hand. The way Cassandra had reached out to him was still fresh in his mind and he replayed the tangling of fingers, the warming against each other over in his mind again. She’d slept in his bed. They’d talked about things neither of them really wanted to. They’d shared a horse all day. Why did this feel like something more intimate? 

It was because she’d been reaching for him. She had felt vulnerable and had reached for him. He sigh dreamily and closed his fingers. Did she feel safe being like that with him? She could beat him six ways to Tuesday if she felt like it, the notion of her feeling safe with Varian was almost laughable, but it was still there. He liked it. He wanted her to feel safe with him. He felt safe with her. 

The thought bounced around in Varian’s mind as sleep took him. He dreamed of dark hair and starlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh he’s got it bad and Cass is dropping hints so heavy lol


End file.
